Supporting Someone in Crisis

If you are worried that a friend, family member, or colleague is considering suicide, you do not need to be a medical professional to help them. Follow these steps to keep them safe.

Immediate Intervention Protocol

Take a deep breath. Stay calm. Follow these four clinical steps to stabilize the situation.

Step 1

Ask Directly

Do not dance around the subject. Asking someone directly, "Are you thinking about suicide?" does not put the idea in their head. It provides immense relief that someone finally sees their pain.

Step 2

Listen Without Judgment

Let them talk. Do not rush to fix their problems or tell them they have "so much to live for." Your goal is simply to understand. Say, "I am so sorry you are hurting this much. I am here."

Step 3

Keep Them Safe

If they say yes, ask them if they have a plan. Create physical distance between them and any lethal means. Do not leave them alone. Stay physically present with them.

Step 4

Connect to Help

You cannot be their therapist. Your job is to guide them to safety. Offer to make the call with them. Say, "We need to talk to someone who knows how to help. Let's call together."

Crisis Helplines

Dial one of the numbers below. Put the phone on speaker if the person is comfortable with it, and make the connection together.

View Regional Helpline Directory

Communication Guidelines

It is normal to feel nervous. Keep these principles in mind when speaking to someone in acute distress.

What Not To Say

"You have so much to live for."
While this comes from a place of love, to a suicidal person, this sounds like you are invalidating their pain. It makes them feel misunderstood and can induce severe guilt. Instead, focus entirely on the pain they are experiencing right now.
"Things could be much worse."
Comparing their pain to others does not reduce their suffering. It only isolates them further, making them feel like they are wrong or weak for feeling the way they do.
"Suicide is selfish."
This is highly dangerous. A person in crisis often genuinely believes they are a burden to their loved ones, and that dying is an act of removing that burden. Shaming them will immediately shut down the conversation.

What You Should Say

"I am so sorry you are hurting."
Validation is powerful. By simply acknowledging that their pain is real, severe, and exhausting, you lower their emotional defenses and build immediate trust.
"I am not going anywhere."
Reassurance of your physical and emotional presence is critical. Panic sets in when people feel abandoned. Telling them that you are staying with them through the crisis provides a strong safety net.
"How can we get you help?"
Use the word "we." Frame the intervention as a partnership. It removes the burden of them having to figure out the solution by themselves.